I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize