My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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