I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
