Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I did not marry a roomba.
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