you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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