I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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