she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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