if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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