I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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