I am puke
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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