she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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