It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
