I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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