it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
