I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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