if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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