you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
