you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
