just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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