Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i out mim tonsoeep
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