what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
