we're blogging at a bar
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
