i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
