just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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