I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
