I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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