if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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