I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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