i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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