I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
