Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
