brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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