I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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