the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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