how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
