i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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