My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
