what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
