how do flat chested girls get laid?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need a beard to bite.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
