what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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