Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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