Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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