so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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