can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize