Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
