these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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