I cockslap morals
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
