I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize