the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
