ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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