I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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