if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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