So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
this hospital has no fireball
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
