My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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