..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
