come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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