oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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