I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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