my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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